It's a beautiful day!

The sun is shining and it's warm enough to have the windows open. I can hardly believe it. The dog is basking in the sun on the back deck. I just finished make 50 meatballs which means I will have several batches for the freezer to use on my can't muster the energy to cook days. YIPPEE!

Last night I had some wrist, elbow and shoulder pain on the right side. I used the dream cream and the hot pack most of the night. Today it's still really tender and I should probably get the hot pack out as soon as I'm done this post. I can't think of anything I did to strain that arm. Maybe I'm having sympathy pains for the Prince and his broken wrist. Who knows. I'm proud of myself for pushing through it and getting the meatballs made. I did not want to waste my good energy today by letting that pain keep me from accomplishing anything. I do know that that is about all my arm can handle today so the laundry baskets will have to wait for the King to bring upstairs for me.

Going to rest and look at gardening ideas. Hope you are having a blessed day!

Wham!

She arrives with a vengeance sucking all my energy and giving me more pain. Man, I hate this! The King and I were going to sneak away for a few days this week. He has work to do but I thought a change of scenery would be nice. Blah! Now I'm dreading the travel, strange bed and packing. I hope that my massage tomorrow will give me some pain relief.

Trying to fight off the plague

I've been doing all that I can to fight off the plague that the King has had. I'm starting to worry that it is setting in as it hurts to breathe. I don't have a sore throat, cough or runny nose but last night I had horrible pain whenever I took a deep breath. I also had weird pain down my sides starting around the boob area and running down a few inches. My energy is zero and I've been having trouble sleeping again. This morning was a complete write off for me as it hurt whenever I took a good breath. I had to get my act together to get supper on early as we had PTA tonight. I had to get some support to unload this fundraiser that has been a bust with the parents. Unfortunately PTA lasted forever because we had our illustrious school trustee aka our mayor and rambling moron grace us with his presence for too long. I came home to AF, thank goodness the my liner held out as I wasn't expecting her arrival. (I only took my laptop bag and not my purse tonight. Could have had a jr. high flashback!! :S) So now I'm not sure what to think about my struggles- fighting off the King's disease or just my pms hell or maybe a mix of both.

I wish I wasn't having trouble sleeping again. I should have maybe booked a massage this week but it's a short week with school (early dismissal and friday off) so I didn't bother. I don't even want to go see Dr. X on Monday. I need to sort out how I feel about that all still. I'm thinking that my 2 x a day herbs are preventing me from sleep even though he has told me before they shouldn't keep me up. I try to take my first dose when I first wake up, which has been pretty consistently 930 am (shocking) but I don't always remember because I'm braindead these days. Then I try to take my 2nd round before the kids get home from school but again that doesn't always happen until I see my reminder on the fridge when I'm cooking supper.

I really should try to go to sleep. It seems that when I'm laying flat that my breathing pain is worse but when I prop up on a bunch of pillows I can't sleep. *sigh* I know I'm a whining baby. I'm getting really tired of feeling like total crap and my silver lining ability is pretty much non-existent.

Still not feeling like myself

I accomplished very little today. I took my herbs, did my acupressure points, my self-acupuncture, a shower, rested, made supper and lunches for tomorrow. I felt lightheaded and still kind of out of body most of the day. I don't know what the deal is. I hope tomorrow is better than this.

Disappointment

I had to cancel lunch with a friend today. I'm really disappointed because it's not something we are able to do often. Who am I kidding.. it's not that I have a heap of friends irl. She was very understanding but I still feel awful canceling. We were meeting in a nearby town and the thought of doing my hair, driving (means I can't even take OTC pain meds, yes my tolerance is that low) was just way too much for me today. I hate it that my body is grieving me so right now. It hurts around the muscles in my chest when I take a breath this morning. I'm going to have to break down and take something which will mean a loopy few hours but hopefully it will take the edge off the owies.

It has been a difficult week and my energy levels are so low. I feel like I am losing my mind at times because my brain is so foggy. There are times when I could swear I've had a certain conversation or sent an email or even made a blog post but it has never happened. Makes me feel like I'm on the edge of dementia at times. I need to get back onto my lists to keep things in order. I haven't had to do that for a long while and got out of habit.

I just don't know what to do anymore. On Monday I see Dr. X again and I'm going to talk to him about the herbs. I'm obviously missing something that I had in my concoction in December. I just don't know why it went from helping me so much to it seemingly having zero effect. I'm starting to slip into a bit of the blues which isn't a place I ever like to go. It's just been difficult to go from feeling so great to being back to this. This is not the life I want but it is the one I have. I need to find a way to get on top of this mentally and spiritually. Right now I feel like I'm wallowing but I'm so darn tired I can't seem to muster the strength to fight.

I wish I could find it

My energy has disappeared and I so wish I could find it. I'm exhausted after doing the simplest things like grooming. gah Upside is I'm not sleeping til 10:00 am because I was up til 4. My clock seems to have reset itself for 9 am and I'm ok with that right now. I'm so thankful for my awesome husband who takes care of the morning routine with the kids. What a blessing that he works from home and is able to do that for me, for us, for them. I know many men who would grumble even if they were working from home because that is not their "job" but my man is such a hands on parent. So often during my hell I think he is the better parent. I try not to beat myself up for that and be grateful for it.....but it's hard when your bodys fails and you feel like you fail everyone you care about in the process. AF has left the building and my pain has subsided greatly. Dr. X. really did a number on me yesterday with my pressure points. My hips are still rather tender from the acupressure and subsequent acupuncture. My generalized all over body achiness is better though so I'll take the pain where I have it over the it-hurts-to-wear-clothes pain.

I will do my best to take it easy today and try to find my energy. I have to prepare food for Valentines parties on Friday for the Jester and the Little Prince, deal with a monthly PTA fundraiser on Thursday and get a birthday present for our Princess sometime this week. The King has taken care of the birthday events. He will be taking the Princess to Apple school on Saturday, they are taking a Jam class. Then on Sunday we've made arrangements to take her 2 BFFs to the matinee and the Marble Slab for birthday ice cream. No pressure on me to feel good and entertain a houseful of girls. YEAH!

I'm so glad we decided to do our Valentine's cards early. This year it was individual popcorn packets (we have no allergies in either class this year) for the Jester and the Little Prince's classes. We made wrap around labels from construction paper that they decorated and wrote the names on. I know I could have had something done that looked fancy but I really think that the Valentine's should be done by them not me. Princess found a scrappin kit to make cards for her girls and then recycled some left over store bought ones for the boys in her class, she put together little treat bags with erasers, candy and popcorn. The Princess even had two things of XO soap squirrelled away, from a stash of Valentine's day goodies that Auntie C sent her from CA a few years ago, to give to her teachers.

I'd better run and take my herbs before I forget about them.