A little update

I went for another infra-red body wrap a week ago. It was pouring rain that day and the warmth felt amazing. I was really worried that I may not have the same results as the first time because the weather was so miserable and rain really sends my fibro into fits. I felt great afterwards. I had a bit of stiffness later in the evening but not the pain I'd been coping with earlier. We are in crazy busy time of year around here. We had a soccer tourney all weekend which meant driving and running between fields (3 boys in 3 different age groups all playing at different times), dragging chairs in and out of the van, packing coolers, sitting in the hot sun for hours on end, etc. I made it through the whole weekend without any ill effects. My normal routine after doing so much all weekend would be to crash on Monday but I did not and even went out shopping with my neighbor for several hours IN THE MORNING!!!! YEAH ME!!! LOL I purchased a package of the wraps and will go as I feel it is necessary. I'm also faithfully taking my coQ10 and my Gingko. Very encouraged by the results I'm getting with this treatment and feeling more like a normal person every day... whatever normal is for this crazy gal!

It's raining, it's pouring....

.... maybe I'd feel better if I was snoring?!?! The rain started overnight. I should have guessed it was coming as I was starting to feel poorly last night. However, we had a really busy weekend with soccer, piano recitals, etc. The King is out of town so that means I have to push it to the limit to get the crew to where they need to be without backup. I tried to take it easy yesterday orchestrating chores, helping the Princess organize her card making materials, supervising piano teacher cards, Father's Day cards and Father's Day crafts. I was still beat by the end of the day. Just as I thought I might finally be able to sleep (I have a hard time falling asleep when the King is absent) the Littlest Prince awoke complaining of a tummy ache. I got him situated in my bed with the royal barf bowl handy. He was restless and it took forever for both of us to get to sleep. He was tired this morning but his tummy was feeling better. I was hurting and knew that the lack of sunshine streaming into the room and the smell of rain, which I love, wafting in the window were to blame. I've had horrible pain across my shoulders the past week or so. Today I can lift my arms but it still hurts like crazy. I had hoped to finally get my routine bloodwork done so I could make a follow up appointment with my doctor and get that B12 shot. However, with the possibility of 2 soccer games tonight (oh how I hope they are rained out) and already feeling beat I just knew that I couldn't do it. It's frustrating to me. When I felt well enough to get the bloodwork done I had a sick child home for a week and then life ran away from me again. The King is away a good portion of June and with 3 boys in soccer 5 days a week, piano, school winding down, etc.... life is just crazy.

I managed to get an appointment on Wednesday for another infra-red body wrap. I'm praying I experience the same kind of results I did the first time. I'm nearing the end of my first of three months of 200mg of Co Enzyme Q10 and 200 mg gingko biloba (recommended in Dr. Alison Bested's book). I don't know for sure if I've experience any benefits of it yet but I'm committed to trying it for the 3 months.

Thanks for the encouraging comments. I'm trying to get better about blogging about my fibro but like everything...doing the best I can. I really appreciate that anyone reads my ramblings.

Hopeful Treatment

I've had some success with infra-red saunas as a source of treatment. Unfortunately, to get one that is well made, has the right kind of heat and will not off gas toxins from the construction materials we are looking at about $3500.00. Over time it certainly would pay for itself but to gather together that kind of money at the outset is not an easy feat for a family with 4 growing children. I have access to one but I only have that access if the King is with me. This is a busy time of year for him that requires much travel so my visits have been very minimal. The massage therapist in the office I work tried an infra-red body wrap at a local spa. The body wrap is advertised for weight loss but she thought it may be helpful to me as I had some good results with the sauna. I discovered that I could claim it as a "wellness" treatment through my husband's insurance so I forked out $75 to give it a try. I've been feeling so poorly since 2010 began I figured I had nothing to lose. The woman at the spa was very knowledgeable and professional. Rather than wrapping my arms as she would for someone interested in weight loss she wrapped those bits up my back and around my neck, I was also wrapped around the middle and my legs. I relaxed for an hour doing nothing but resting, hydrating and sweating. I was amazed at how refreshed I felt immediately after. I felt amazing several hours later albeit tired. She said that I would likely feel tired for a few days but how great my body felt definitely made up for the tired. The effects of the wrap lasted nearly 3 weeks. I was even surprised by my visit from AF as I usually feel like total crap the week before and regularly experience flare symptoms, if not full blown flare. It wasn't until our weather turned from spring to spring snowstorm that I felt poorly again. I will definitely try the treatment again. If I purchase 10 sessions at once than I get a $25/treatment reduction.

Spark up a doobie??

So the latest on the fibromyalgia front is that marijuana may help with the pain. You can read the CNN Health article What do you think? Is it something you've tried? Would you consider it?

As the mother of 4 children, 2 of which are teenagers, I don't know how I could start to rationalize trying such a treatment. Yes they are intelligent kids but the fact that a) it's illegal and b) you spend your life teaching them to just say no to drugs weighs heavy on me. I tend to shun any pain medication because of how it affects my brain- the fog, the way my body metabolizes them outweighs any temporary relief I may get from pain pills. I've opted for alternative ways to cope with my pain.

Part of me is intrigued by the possibilities of cannabis as a way to potentially have a less painful life and the other part of me thinks it is something that I couldn't do in good conscience.

Now where are those Doritos...... lol... totally kidding.

It's been awhile..

I've have been avoiding this place. I was doing pretty good for much of the fall and started working 2 days a week with the Chiropractor that comes to town from the big city. I managed to hold it together thru to Christmas. I wasn't always feeling great but managed to push through and live life somewhat normally. However, since New Years I've been really suffering. I'm not sleeping, even with the help of sleep aids, I hurt so much when I lay flat and no amount of pillows, propping, heat packs, lotions, etc seem to help. I've been having trouble on and off with my hands, particularly my right one. The other day I was trying to scoop roasted butternut squash out of the shell and could not manage the fine motor skills required to do that simple task. At times I can't open my water bottle or take the foil seal off my yogurt drinks. It's crazy and frustrating. I did get some relief from massage before Christmas when it was really bad. The chiropractor tried to do some treatments with the activator on my arm and hand as I couldn't bear a traditional adjustment. The King ran all the way into the city tonight to get me a new topical cream we saw on a commercial in hopes that it might offer some relief as my heated mittens and Dream Cream were not cutting it. I think the Voltaren helped some as I'm typing this. I guess we will see. The side effects and warnings for a OTC topical cream kind of freak me out so it's not something I want to have to use often. I've been taking Methocarbamol for pain. It's also OTC and while it loops me it isn't as bad as any of the script stuff I've tried. It takes the edge off a bit but doesn't take it all away. I wish there was a magic solution. I'm getting worn out. Day 11 of feeling like crap... no energy and always pain is not fun. I really needed to vent about it so I guess that is why I came here. The weather has changed drastically from the -25 Celsius to the +6 Celsius range which also wrecks havoc with my body. We had a ten degree difference in one day and then it proceeded to go up and down. This week is supposed to be a warm one and then we may head back to the deep freeze. Oh joy... that means my body will adjust to the new temps and then get hit with another whammy. Even the King is feeling the weather change this time and has his own set of hurts.

New Trigger, possible new treatment

Humidity is as hard on me as cold. I had a really tough time in Vancouver when the temps ranged from 32-38 C and the humidity is so much higher than we are used to on the prairie. The King took me for an infrared sauna in our hotel. It was amazing and I was able to make it through the rest of the trip without falling into flare.

I've been home for awhile but have been so busy that I haven't posted. I wanted to document this before I forgot. I am suffering today because I did too much and kept pushing myself without rest. This week I will have to take it easier than I'd planned. It's back to school soon and I need to be well for that.

Been so busy...

I've been so busy with soccer and the end of school stuff. We also escaped to Kelowna for 5 days last week. I'm looking forward to next Friday when school is out and soccer is finished.

I've been feeling really good. The chiropractor is really helping me. I've gone down to 1 visit a week instead of 2. Today we took the entire royal family for adjustments (wanted to get those first visits done before they are no longer covered by Alberta Health). The weather has been hot and dry which is always great for me.

Sorry I've been so bad at keeping up with the blog. I've been sleeping at night so I'm not up pecking on the keyboard in the wee hours.

Hope you are all well.

Chiropractic

Went to the Chiropractor today. He was very personable and understanding. We're going to give 2x a week a go for the next bit and then see if we need to add in some acupuncture and/or massage therapy. I was feeling pretty good pain wise today which made it easier for him to check me out so that was a positive. I was pleasantly surprised at how inexpensive the first visit was. I'm used to paying at least $80 and up to $150 for the first visit but it was only $45, subsequent adjustments will be $17 until July 1st when Alberta Health Care drops chiro from it's list on insured services... so not happy about that move. Thankfully we have great extended health benefits so will still have coverage. Looks like our cold weather is on it's way out and warm weather is coming in which always makes me feel so much better.

Not my hands!!!

Yesterday I had such pain in my wrists, finger joints and elbows that I could not even type or navigate the laptop without cringing. You know that I'm in trouble when I can't use the computer. ;) I tried dream cream and finally hot packs to get some relief. After making supper I could scarcely hold a cup without biting back the tears. I spent the night heating and reheating my miracle bag to wrap it around one hand and then place that warm wrapped hand on top of the other. It is much better today. Thank God. I cannot begin to imagine how I will cope if this becomes a new regular part of my roving pain. My hips and neck are bothering me today. I can feel pain starting in my right shoulder and will get off the 'puter before it descends down my arm. *sigh*

Weekly update

Tomorrow it will be a week since I started back on my herbs and added the new one, Sierra Sil. I have to say that my mood has improved and I'm feeling more like myself mentally. For my mood to be improving this week is no small feat because I should be in the throes of PMS. I think my energy levels are getting better as well. I need to work on managing my stress and pacing myself. Why is this such an impossible thing for me?

Today I purchased some Gardener's Dream Cream - Hallelujah. I noticed on the website that several Sangsters stores carried it so decided to check out the one I got my Sierra Sil from. They have revamped their packaging so I thought that I might have missed in on the shelf when I was there last week. They did not have it in stock and did not carry it. When I told her that the website said other Sangsters did she phoned one in the next city and then had her husband pick it up from there as he was in that city. It was well worth the extra trip back to the city tonight to pick it up as I can feel it working in my knees already. She said that she will now make sure to carry the product. I am very thankful for the special effort she and her husband took to get me this product. They will definitely be my first stop for my herbs and supps. She also encouraged me to try a sample of Natural Calm so we shall see how that goes.

The King talked to some representatives from Yame Tea who were in the store with samples of their line of tea. We ended up purchasing some of that as well. I was pleasantly surprised that it lacked that bitter quality you often find with green tea. I need to cut back, if not eliminate my coffee addiction and this tea supposedly has great benefits. I was most interested in it's relaxing qualities for sleep as well as potential relief of joint pain. I'll keep you posted on it's effectiveness. If it does nothing else but help me to get to sleep better than it is worth it.

Moving forward...

I had a massage today. Joyce has almost had to start over with me. My reaction to the healing by fire really did a number on my nervous system. She said she could feel my body shaking when I was just relaying the experience. We got some work done today but there is only so much one can do in an hour. I will go back next week.

I'm feeling a bit more energetic. I definitely think that is the Greens+ because I felt that way when I was taking them prior to the chinese herbs.

My knees have been really giving me grief and I have a ton of stress in my jaw, shoulders and neck. I've been good at drinking my water. I also took my bath in dead sea salts tonight. I wish my tub held the heat for longer. Why do newer tubs not hold the heat?

I'm feeling more and more at peace about my decision to not continue with Dr. X. I'm trying to give myself some grace as I work back through this rough patch into a place where I feel more in control of my affliction.

Today I'm thankful for my husband who is so patient and understanding through all of this and for my angel Joyce and her healing hands.

Herbal Supplements

I'm on day 3 of my Omega 3+ Joy and my mood has definitely improved. I feel awful... thank you wet spring snowstorm... but not blue.

Saturday I started taking the following again:

Cal-Mag Complete (with zinc, C and D)
Hi- Potency B- Complex
Remember FX
Cell FX
Omega 3 + Joy
Greens +

I also added a new product that has rave reviews:

Sierra Sil

I will see how it goes. I want to give it a good month and will manage my pain with my massage therapy. Come May I will start my new year of extended health insurance and will possibly go back to acupuncture.

I'm really hurting this weekend and need to find someone who carries a good topical treatment. I haven't been able to find my Gardeners Dream Cream or Bio-Freeze and I'm really missing it. I've tried Lakota but it starts to burn like mad and Tiger Balm isn't cutting it.

I have naproxen and some OTC muscle relaxant that can help take a bit of the edge off but it is never complete relief.

Now if I can just survive this awful damp that is in the air with this lovely snowstorm I'd be much happier. Who am I kidding, we don't see true spring til at least April.

I broke up with Dr. X

We had an appointment scheduled for next week. I came home yesterday from another appointment (my nails which means a couple of hours of adult conversation with a lady who has also become a friend)to a message from the Wellness centre wanting to reschedule my appointment due to a family crisis for Dr. X. (I know kick him while he's down but I doubt he'll notice when I don't return) I had a frank conversation with M (she's the one that talked me through my psycho Ricky Bobby moment) and said I just feel like he's not hearing me and I need someone who has some more empathy and understanding. I don't think it's an awful thing that "I so sensitive" and the fact that I went into panic attack and had to cancel my last appointment shows me that the trust factor is gone between me and Dr. X. She was understanding and told me to do what is best for me! I scheduled a massage for next Tuesday with my angel Joyce.

Dr. X only works Mondays at the Wellness and Joyce doesn't work those days so I likely won't see him again. I'm sorry for his family troubles and do wish him the best. I appreciate what he has done for me but I don't feel I should have to compromise my feelings and beliefs because he is so set and his ways. There is a serious communication breakdown between us which is likely due to language and the fact that he just wants me to do everything according to his ways.

My sweet nail lady gave me the number and name of another acupuncturist that her friend sees and she drives from a city 1.5+ hours away to go there. I looked them up online and what impresses me from the get go is the information on the site and their leaning towards education. I think that was most frustrating for me with Dr. X, I had to go home and google like a madwoman to figure out what he was saying and why he wanted to do certain things. I'm going to give them a call and book a consult. Then I will see what I decide to do. In the meantime, I'm going to go back to my western herbs as I know they were making me feel better. I'll try to post more about that regimine this weekend (give me some grace as I may forget).

In full out flare!

I'm in a major flare at the moment. Took me a few days to realize it. I have horrid fog and unless it's written down or someone is reminding me I'm a mess. I hurt, I'm depressed and miserable.

I need to get a hold of my triggers and manage them better. I think the greatest reason I'm in the place I am is my inability to manage stress. I've been getting down and really frustrated with all this. Add life on top of that and I'm letting everything send me down. The King has had to travel quite a bit and with him being my only source of human contact and support this days it makes it harder on me.

I think that I'm going to look for another acupuncturist. I've decided that I have the right to not have to listen to his mumbo jumbo tape, to have him know who I am without having to read my file, to not feel less than because I'm sensitive and to not be left in the room alone when you do a strange new treatment on me that sends me off the deep end in a new realm of anxiety and fear. He can't be the only acupuncturist that has success dealing with people with fibro. I've read of others who have had good results. Now I have to source out someone new. My insurance is up til May so I have some time to sort this out. Meantime I may or may not see Dr. X for some straight acupuncture treatments.

I decided to start taking my Omega 3 + Joy again. Today is my first day. It made me feel so good and I only went off it because Dr. X didn't want anything interfering with his herbs. I don't believe his herbs are helping me at the moment and I've told him as much. I just can't hang on like this waiting for a maybe upswing again. I'm at the end of it mentally.

What do you think? Am I giving up? Should I hang in there with Dr. X? Is it about time I went another way? I just wish there was some clear path to take. *sigh*

Help me Tom Cruise!!!

I'm starting to have some anxiety about my appointment with Dr. X on Monday. I really feel like I need to commit to this line of treatment. I'm trusting and hoping that I will see the results I had in December in the very near future. However, I'm terrified of the Barbie fire pit and the smoking cigar. HRH said he would come with me to my appointment so that makes me feel a little bit better. He said he wanted to be there if I had another Ricky Bobby meltdown heh... he's joking.... at least I think he is... he will laugh me through the process and the fact that he's a firefighter should ensure that I won't be set on fire. I just hope I don't have some teenage wasteland flashback reaction again. It's too darn cold for me to be running around in my underwear.....



I'm having some sleep issues again but AF has left the building so I'm feeling a bit stronger physically. We've been in blizzard mode here so that always reeks havoc with my body but I'd say today was a better day than most have been lately.

Get me out of here!

Yesterday was Dr. X day. I was not all that enthusiastic about going and really wanted to stay home under the blankets. It started snowing like crazy and I just wasn't feeling great. The King drove me as he had a few things to do and figured he'd get them done while I was getting my treatment. Things started off as usual and he said he would teach me to do somethings to help with my stagnant "cold" (TCM divides things into "cold", "heat", "wind", "damp", etc) which is what is causing me to not feel so great. He checked my pulse points and tongue, remarked at my weight loss and how I look younger. We proceeded to the room where he does acupuncture where he put more needles in my hands than usual and 2 in my face, which he had never done before and I have to admit it freaked me out a little. I was feeling pretty relaxed and he left the room. Shortly he returned with a Barbie sized chimenia and some white string. He said he was going to teach me something for my "cold". Next thing I know the chimenia is strapped to my belly with the white cord which was elastic, it was tight and not comfortable at all. Then he wets a piece of the tissue I'm laying on and puts it under the chimenia pot. He proceeds to light a cigar like thing which instantly smelled disgusting. He explains to me that it is perfectly safe and if it feels hot I can move it up and it will relieve the heat feeling, that I'm to use this for 20 minutes. He puts it in the chimney of the chiminea and leaves the room.

After I don't know how much time I start to feel the heat, it's not just hot but feels like it is burning. I raise the cigar up and wait, no relief, raise it more and still no relief. I started to freak out as it felt like my stomach was burning. I thought to myself that I can't take it right out of the chimney because I'm laying on tissue paper and I'll be on fire if an ash hits it. I call for the doctor and all I can hear is the buzzing of the machines at the drycleaners next door. Tears start pouring out of my eyes like you turned a tap on, my breathing is erratic, I push the heat lamp away from me (all the while it is difficult to even use my hands as I have so many needles in them and in my elbow joint, there is some shooting pain with my frantic actions. I holler again for the doctor and finally the receptionist comes in. I tell her that I'm burning and I need this thing off me. He comes in while still on the cell phone, sees the river of tears and she tells him that I want it off. I say it's burning, he shows me how to raise it and I freak and tell him to get it off. He says "ok, ok... you ok. Relax, why you so sensitive?" He takes it off and leaves!!!!! I'm in full blown panic attack by now and so thankful that sweet M, the receptionist comes back and helps to calm me down. I want these needles out and I want to go home. I was in full blown caged animal terror and panic attack like I never remember ever experiencing. She assures me that while there is a red mark it doesn't look too bad. M talks me through some deep breathing and gets me calmer. She then gets him to come and take the needles out and tries to explain to him that I've had a panic attack (he is off the phone now). He removes the needles, does some massaging of my forehead and pulls my ears, asks if I ok and tells me again "you ok". He tells me to relax and lay still, leaves the room again. M asks if I'm ok and goes as well.

I get up and phone the King, all I said was "you need to pick me up now", it's only been an hour since he dropped me off. He asks no questions and comes. (He was in the next city so it took a little bit). M talks to me again, is so sweet and understanding. Dr. X comes back and explains to me that I was not burning and how I need this treatment to get rid of the cold. He says next time... I look at him like he is insane. M says that if I decide to try it again that she will sit with me through it. She is so apologetic about everything, I was not given the bell (never have been before and didn't even know it was an option) and says she is so sorry she did not check on me earlier. Dr. X says I need to trust him and work with him or he can't help me. I feel like I'm out of my body. M is my advocate and talks to him about how the experience and how I've been feeling. She asks him if he notices an improvement in me, even though I feel like I've gone backwards. He tries to explain like he has to me before and then he goes and comes back with a paper. He says his english is not so good and if I read this maybe I understand better. It is obviously translated from chinese and the english is a bit off but it makes sense. I feel better about continuing the treatment but I'm not so sure about the smoking cigar. I get my herbs and my King arrives to rescue me.

We have to go back to the city as he did not get everything done. I'm totally exhausted and lay back in my seat dozing while he does his thing. We have to hit Costco to buy food for the breakfast program at the school, I'm embarrassed that I'm in yoga pants (I never wear that kind of thing anywhere but to my therapy appointments (acupuncture and massage) because I go straight home) but the King says not to worry about it as I still look better than most people who are dressed in real clothes. (love that guy). By the time we get home I'm so exhausted I can barely think straight. I have barely an hour before the crew gets home from school and I'm out of it on the couch. I was just done for the rest of the night and my sweet King even made dinner. I had some trouble getting to sleep and ended up taking a pill. I have some self-acupuncture pads in my ear and when I layed a certain way while I was tossing and turning I'd feel the effects of 6 little pricks poking into my ear at once. He claims I will be able to keep them 1-2 weeks but I can't see that happening. I will have to cover my ear when I shower and I do that daily so I don't know how long they will last.

I did some research on this "cold" stagnant thing and it lines up with the things I've been feeling. Typical treatment is moxibustion which seems to be similar to what he was trying to do. I don't know why I had such a strong emotional reaction to it. I have not been prone to anxiety or panic attacks. It was a terrifying experience and not one that I want to repeat any time soon.

Frustration

I'm a big old whiner this week. I'm so frustrated that I can't get on top of this pain. December was such an amazing month and my hopes were up so high that I'd finally found a way to manage this all. January was difficult and February is not looking very promising. I've spent all my insurance coverage for both massage and acupuncture... everything now is out of pocket until May. This doesn't put us into great hardship (just fewer dates or entertainment which is a sacrifice that both of us are willing to make for my health). I just see it as a waste when I don't seem to be seeing results. I'm so frustrated. I know that sometimes you get worse to feel better and that my body has years of anti-depressants to clear out, years of holding onto hurts, disappointments and failures to let go of. I realize that this is more than just a body thing but I'm having such a time getting to the optimistic/positive side of it all when I've been suffering so much. Yes I know it could be so much worse and I'm so grateful that my affliction will not take me from my family. I know I should be patient and persevere but I'm sick of being sick. I'm tired of letting my family down. And if I hear "Oh, you're not feeling well again" from some friend I'm going to scream (don't ask me how I'm doing if you don't care to know).

I'm off to see my massage therapist. It's that bad that I've already forked out $84 this week that I'm willing to shell out another $70. *sigh*

Today was my weekly appointment with Dr. X (he is a traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) doctor and acupuncturist). I was feeling really lousy after my horrible week. I asked him what he thought of the correlation of worse pain and the week before AF and the arrival of. He was proud of me for being able to make a connection and said that we can work on that and hopefully next time I won't have such a horrid week. He asked if I did my homework - I have various pressure points that I need to massage when I'm experiencing pain. I can't seem to rub them as hard as he does (ouch!) but I do my best. It works best when my hubs does it for me. We also talked about my weight loss and I joked with him that my husband wants him to put those weight loss needles in another spot because I'm losing too much boobage. I bought new bras in late November and I can literally put a fist in the gap space that I now have in them. I'm going to try to hold off another month or so before investing in new bras (why are they so freakin expensive?). I may have to resort to socks to fill out the space lol.

It was a very long appointment today, I'm not sure if he forgot about me or just decided that I needed to be a pin cushion for longer than usual but my bladder was ready to burst by the time he came in and removed the needles. After my needles I go to have my head steamed with an herbal concotion on it. I come out of there with some dang sexy hair! Just as I was about to sit in the steam chair I grabbed my left temple as it was throbbing. He right away asked if I was okay and I said I had a sharp pain and headache all of a sudden. He said not to worry and he rubbed my forehead, pulled my ears and then tapped on various places on my head (totally bizarre but the pain went away so I'm gonna roll with it). I came out of the wellness center to snow...blah.... I had hoped we were seeing an end to winter.

I'm always tired on acupuncture days and wish I had time for a nap but school will be out soon. At least I have made supper already so I can just relax with the kids til it is time to throw it in the oven.