Tuesday, March 31, 2009


Warning this isn't a warm and fuzzy post. I'm frustrated with the circumstances of life right now. I canceled my massage for today. I really needed to be there but I have to wait til May when my extended health kicks back in. We need to seriously look at getting the Jester into some tutoring and it's $$$$$$$$$$. It always falls to me to make the sacrifices so there will be no massages until I can get reimbursed by insurance again, back to dying my own hair for awhile and I'll likely have to give up my nails. I want to stamp my foot like a 2 year old and cry.

It's not fair that the King has had to take a 5% rollback to help keep others in his company employed. He does this but I wonder what for as it sure seems like he is the only one putting in the extra time and effort while the rest of them check out early, take vacation days and don't do their job. He is now having to run around and do things not in his job description like shipping and receiving because someone, whose job he helped to save by taking the rollback, is too busy which is code for doing the bare minimum. He works like crazy and we have to deal with him being away quite a bit and what is the reward for it????? So someone who doesn't value their job enough to do it gets to keep it?? I know that it will all pay off some day but right now I'm just sick and tired of him being so busy, of me having to bear the brunt of his stress, of having to cut back........ I know, I'm a spoiled brat but I went years being the one who had hair cuts a few times a year, the only new clothes came from my Mom which left style to be desired, nothing for my enjoyment... I've loved feeling like I deserve to be treated like a lady. Don't get me wrong I hardly go shopping all the time (frankly I rarely feel like leaving my house) but I was grateful for the ability to get a massage when I felt horrid, feel pampered by having my nails done (which is also the only time I get to converse with another woman face to face) and getting my hair cut and colored. When you feel like crap all the time it's these small things that can be a light in your long days.

So excuse me while I pout and act like a brat for awhile. I can hardly do this in real life so I need to put it out there before I implode.

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