Monday, January 11, 2010
I have an hour to pull it together before the kids come home from school. I just want to cry... I hurt so bad. It's a beautiful day and everyone is raving about the weather. I can barely walk from the kitchen to the living room without crying and the stairs nearly kill me. It is getting worse with every day and I'm tired. Tired of letting my family down, tired of feeling like crap, tired of gritting my teeth through the pain when all I want to do is cry. I work 2 days this week and Friday we are supposed to be going to see the Olympic torch run through the next town, we've even been invited to a special breakfast that day. The kids are really excited about it and we are taking them out of school to see this once in a lifetime event. I hate that the things that help me make it through cost money. Sure we have extended health benefits but they have limits to the alternative medicine things we can use and I'm nearly out of my allowed massages, the new year starts in May so that is a lot of months to spread it over. I could have meds for life but I have to ration the stuff that actually helps me a little bit. So frustrated and so sick of feeling like crap.